Our new Governor is scheduled to give the State of the State address this morning at 10:00AM. He’s been in office since December 1, about seven weeks. I submit that seven weeks is hardly enough time to get one’s head around everything an entity as large as the state’s government is doing. Here’s my imaginary address if I’d only been in office that long.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The State of our State is as yet undiscernible. From what I can tell so far, my predecessor left a dreadful mess behind, but my team and I are cleaning up the rubbish as fast as we can. When I have a better handle on it I’ll get back to you. I expect that will be in July once the fiscal year has ended.

Thank you. I’m going out for lunch. I’ll be back in office after 1:00PM, working on the major issues which face our state.

Aloha!